Well what a morning. After an easy drive from Brisbane to Palmy, I arrived just before the sky started to lighten. A quick look at the swell and then started getting all my gear ready. I trundled onto the beach as dawn was just beginning to break. I sat and watched the surf for a few minutes and decided that there was no getting over the virginity nerves. I just had to have a crack at it.
To the casual onlooker I must have looked a right sight. I lost the kayak to a wave in the first little set before I’d even left the beach. Back up to retrieve it and try again. Next little set I broke my paddle leash. Ok now here’s a smallish one… I’ll jump on and go for it. *$#! there goes a paddle blade. Damn plastic Hobie paddle!!! As soon as I put some weight on it to start paddling the bloody thing snapped at the wrist. Back up the beach to assess the damage. I now have an oar rather than a kayak paddle and I’m still sitting on the beach.
Ok re-assess. I can still do this, I’ll use the paddle as a rudder, get into deeper water before I hop on and just use the peddles until I get out of the breakers and then I’ll drop down the rudder and I’ll be off. No problem me thinks.
Rightio here we go. With a couple of ass puckering moments I’m out the back and away. I go to put my rudder down and it seems to be broken, ^#*^!! Oh well I’ll use my paddle as a rudder. I headed over to another bloke on a kayak (I didn’t get your name but thank you for your assistance if you read this) and he determined that I’d snapped the shear pin and it was stuffed for the time being. He kindly lifted it up out of the water and stowed it under a bungee at the back for me. I tried to turn the sounder on, nope it was dead too. The battery had torn it’s mounting off the bottom of the yak and had come unplugged in the process. I’d also snapped the tip runner off the new rod I’d bought two days ago. Crap.
Oh well there was nothing for it but to head up to the reef and see if I could turn the heartache into something to crow about. A deployed two pillies and started limping along. Within a couple of peddles, I was on. You bloody beauty I thought. At least something good is going to come of this. Oh wait hang on… nope little bronze whaler. Nothing good here. The rest of the morning was a tale of misery. 6 whalers later I gave up and started to limp home.
I pulled up at the back of the breakers and stowed everything I had with me. Tightened up my pfd, locked up me peddles and went to use my “oar” to paddle back in. Hoping the gods would be kind to me and give me a nice easy ride in. Who was I kidding? My plastic fantastic oar, snapped at the wrist of the other blade on the first stroke. I now had a didgeridoo to try and paddle home with. I must say that sitting there with no steering, no paddle and a slight offshore breeze was a little disconcerting. I could see walkers on the beach but no-one really within earshot or with the capability to assist me in my return to the beach.
I peddled as close to the breakers as I dared using my didgeridoo to try and create some drag to allow for steerage. Locked up my peddles again and slid back onto the back of the kayak facing forward. I figured the only way I was going to save myself was by pretending to be on Bondi Rescue and try and ride the yak in like a lifesaver’s board. I started to paddle in only to be thrown off by the first breaker. The kayak shot forward and I stayed behind, I’m not going to make the director’s cut for the show I believe.
I swam in grabbed hold of the yak and side stroked to the beach. Stuffed. Only to discover I’d now torn a lug out of the back of the yak that holds the rear bungee.
All in all a learning experience. I’m never getting a Hobie paddle ever ever again. I’m going to buy two shear pins so I have a spare. I need to find a more secure way of mounting the battery. And the a surf entry/re-entry is not for the faint hearted!
My wife tells me i'm expensive and that i'd better not be thinking about going fishing again for a while. That is my tale of woe.

